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Blame

Why does everyone blame every situation of a young child who parents are not married on that fact that they are not married? A woman in the rural middle east does not understand that she could have more personal freedoms and right if she was never exposed to other options as she grew up. Before the internet and cable tv, some men of different races never saw the other race until they were grown and stereotypes took center stage as that was the only education they had on those that were different. A child who never taste chocolate never knows what it is like to experience the smooth flavor and sudden rush on his taste buds. I understand that children do get exposed to full households through family, friends, school, and the community. And that is excellent to see how different families experience life. But it angers me to hear the term “moral compass” and how kids would be better in a dual household. Statistics show that a few years ago over 40% of kids were born to unwed parents. I’m sure it has risen since then. More often than not, parents don’t want to be chained with someone that they don’t love completely. My parents were the best and they are divorced but they did more for me together than I saw married couples do for my friends. I think the differences were good because it allowed me to experience the lives of those of my friends who had one parent, both parents, gay parents, and divorced parents. I have a friend that is an atheist. I’m in no way a religious fanatic though I grew up in the Bible belt. I believe that Christians, Buddhists, Muslims, Wiccans, Atheists, and all others I missed (too many to name) should be able to believe in whatever they want as long as it is not destructive to others. My friend twice blamed the normal mischievous behavior issues of a young child on him not having married parents. He has tolerance but very hard distaste for unmarried parents. I guess if it doesn’t fit in his box then it is not good. It is ironic though. He recently walked out of a suicide prevention class because the instructor used a religious reference. He felt as if the instructor did not openly accept ALL people or he would not have used the word God and a verse from the Bible. What kind of hypocritical double talk is that? We all have our opinions but let’s look at the parallel here. He refused to listen to an entire lesson on how to identify signs of suicide and what to do to help because he disagreed with religion being involved in the context. The class may have given him tips on a way to help another person’s life but he chose to think more about how his rights and his point of view were not accepted or tolerated. Funny how hypocritical people can be. If a kid has only experienced the single parent life or joint custody life why do we want to blame everything negative that happens to her on that.

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